Dance of Life

I am freshly off work, sitting at my computer in Shawn's apartment, waiting for the voice to download. And I thought - well, may as well write a blog post, ya know? Only problem is I find it super difficult to write posts these days. I've got blogger's block. I think I've got so much to relate that it's hard to say ANYTHING. 

So…well let's start with…hmm. I'm sorry, but my life has been unequivocally uneventful and boring. I am border-line depressed, struggling to keep up with the simplest of things. I feel like a total mess. Un-ravelled 'fub here. Most days I just give up and hibernate. It seems too hard to do things that would make me feel better. Everything seems hard. 

See, I don't want to write things like that, which is why I don't write often. But I feel better after writing it, knowing that people who love me will read it, so that's good. 

I am my own worst enemy. Sigh. 

Oh boy. I really need to save this post from being super depressing. It's just that, how I've been getting along up to now doesn't work anymore. It's like my juices have run out if you will. So I'm having to re-invent everything, myself included. Alright, that's a more positive way of looking at things. Re-invention is inspiring and full of opportunity. you've got to break down in order to start again, right? 

I think about when I was younger, how clear and sure I was about everything. I had a stance, and I was so sure about that stance. But...I think there's a lot of good that can come out of breaking your 'stance', and letting yourself be unsure, to re-evaluate. otherwise, how can you let anything new in? 

See, this is why I don't post. I never talk about my life except in philosophical rambles. I can't wait for the day when I can regale everyone with tales of different interesting tidbits about what's going on with me. I thought maybe  moving in with michelle would be good, but I haven't actually spent any time at my new 'place'. and now Darren is moving out of my old  apartment, and I can move back in with Shawn. so that's what's happening there. 

Also, Laura and Bethany know this, but I have a first-time-ever goal for life. I am going to open up a bakery. I am giving myself 3 years to save money and come up with a business plan. Honestly, I don't know how I didn't arrive at this conclusion years ago. It seems so natural to me now. I don't think there is any area of life I get more satisfaction from than with food and feeding people and sharing my…if I do say so…natural genius *cough*…that I've got with food. I want to blow people's minds. I want to CHANGE people's minds. I want to help them OPEN their minds, even if it's just to allow that something is good that they never thought could be good. And I just want to share quality deliciousness. And unleash my creativity. Any ideas for names? Do share. Anything someone would like to see on my menu? again, share away!