A First

Yesterday, I mowed a lawn - for the first time in my life! I've always had peculiar resistance to that particular task, even when me and Shawn were doing the gardening thing together. I don't know why...I'm always reluctant to take on a big, heavy, loud machine. It could be construed from a healthy respect of them, which I think is good, because I am always very thorough and exact when using them. Don't get me wrong - there's no fear...just resistance. Resistances that pop up sometimes completely mystify me, while at the same time I can't ignore the effect they have. I'm usually unwilling to open up. A funny example is movies: I find it extremely hard to watch a new movie. And then there's learning how to drive a standard. Shawn's truck is standard. WHY haven't I learned it yet? When he's always offering to teach me? Because each time the subject comes up I feel a big push of resistance and it's so emotionally uncomfortable I just don't want to go there. Anyways. On the OTHER hand I've been getting more inspired to transcend these things that hold me in spot. A manifestation of that is the fact that I MOWED A LAWN yesterday. yay. A triumph!
It wasn't just your regular joe kinda lawn either. It was a HUGE lawn. The front of it alone was huge, but then there was also the back, and sides, and other random pieces. Each of the sections were multiple-lawn size. You get what I am saying - it was a big project.

I loved it! The property was gorgeous, bordered on 3 sides with a wild growth of alders and tall, tall cedar & fir - with clumps here and there of hydrangeas and rhododendrons. The back side was open to the sea. No one lives in the old house on the property, so I was all alone, which I reveled in. Line after line, cutting satisfying swaths. I loved the zen of focussing on the lines. I loved the feeling of doing a good job. On top of it all, I made $85! And it really helped Shawn out, as he was able to get a bunch of other, smaller jobs done that day that he otherwise would have had to put off. He actually came over as I was finishing up and did the weed-wacking. We finished together at around 8:30pm. My hands were tingling from the constant vibrations of the mower, my bones felt pleasantly fatigued, and my whole body felt gently worked-out. Too tired to clean and cook. We got a pizza for dinner, and vegged out in front of 'monsters, inc' - which we passed out during. I woke up at 3am, turned off the TV and the light, put the pizza in the fridge and plopped back in bed, where I fell immediately back to sleep.

3 more work shifts to endure before I am free...