Dance of Life

I am back! I got my computer back on the weekend, and now it is time to re-enter the blogging world. Hopefully not everyone has given up on checking this yet.

It's a cold, fitfully rainy day here in Tuff. I am not feeling the best, have been struggling with nausea all day, so I closed up shop early and came here to Shawn's apartment. It's nice I have a job where I can do that. I'm not living with Shawn, technically speaking. On the 1st I moved in with my manager. It's a cute two bedroom house with a big deck and lots of counter space in the kitchen. I have a room at the back of the house. It has white laminate tile flooring, a small window looking out  onto some gravel driveway and rainforest beyond, and a wardrobe. I have yet to acquire a bed, but I'm dragging my heels because I wouldn't even be using it long, since Shawn and I are moving to Victoria in February. That and the fact that i never sleep there. Right? not very motivating. Anyway, so my stuff is all in boxes in my new room. And I am always at my old place. It's quite psychologically scattering to live in two places at once. I wouldn't recommend it!

A lot has happened this past summer and fall. I've learned a lot about myself. I've had to come to peace with things. Breaking up with Shawn was an eye-opener. That's the only reason why I feel it wasn't a total mistake. I actually don't think it was a mistake at all, because I don't know how else I would have come to where I am now. Shawn's the only one who's ever wormed himself in so deeply that he touched me beyond the surface. I have been humbled.

I've come to like rock bottom. Rock bottom is where my strengths come out. It's a raw place full of potential. Your choices are clear. What's important to you is clear. It's harder to hide from yourself.

One thing that's been coming on a lot lately is coming to peace with myself, however I am. learning to wipe the slate clean and really unburden myself of the past. And realizing how much I don't have figured out at all.