happiness sometimes

Sometimes happiness is a hot shower. Feeling the water run over my heart = soothing. And being held by a fubman.

Happiness is also a bowl of good hot homemade soup, accompanied with a crusty slice of garlic bread.

And a soft purry cat squished into the corner of the couch to pet.

I had a thought I'd like to share.  It was about love and music. You see, I was thinking of Shawn, and how the most tempting thing in the world wouldn't change how I'd feel about him, or sway me, because he fulfills everything, you see. And I was thinking of how people that come into contact with us always seem to feel that. And then I thought about how at the most basic of levels, our energy seems to resonate, hum, sing. And THEN I thought of singing with my sisters, and how I love it, because our voices blend into one, and the feeling of blending so harmoniously, energetically, with others, is so wonderful…and the reason I thought of that is because that is how I feel with Shawn. resonant, harmonic, a blending of voices and energies that feels SO good.
Thank you, that is all.
Christmas cheers from Speshul.

Monday night was the Method Marine staff party at The Spotted Bear. It's a small venue, but cozy. The tables were laid out around the edge of the room, leaving the centre for socializing. appies were laid out on the bar, of which I MUST mention the risotto ball. the size of a child's fist, a breaded ball with a dollop of herbed cream something-or-other on top. full of risotto. YUM. there were also loaves of crusty bread, a selection of bries and camemberts, grapes and apples.

The group of people Shawn and I ended up sitting with included a youngster named Jordan who went to Wellington. Not MY era - he graduated 2011. when I graduated,  he was a little kiddie in grade 5.
Tonight Shawn and I are going over to Sandi and Karl's for the gingerbread-making party. Sandi's a little crazy. very organized in comparison to me. Er - mind you, that's most people, if I'm to be honest.

Christmas is coming up so very fast! I have not a gift yet. not one. That is scheduled for next week when Shawn and I will finally get the same days off and be able to go to Parksville. I'm just NOT going to settle for what Tofino has to offer!  uh-uh.
Another thing that's unsettling me right now is that Mexico is also coming up super fast. I don't feel prepared for that. Oh boy.

crab caked 'fub

Today I woke up with that familiar knowledge that aunt flow had come to pay her dues. The last two nights have been full of vivid and intense dreams. and this morning, the FLOOD GATES OPENED. I hope a boy reads this and is suitably horrified. Anyway, as soon as I got up and started moving around, I got the crippling, only-thing-to-do-is-curl-up-in-a-fetal-ball cramps. the kind that makes you break out in a cold sweat and scrunch up your face. The kind that renders you unable to speak. I don't always get them that bad. It in fact has been a while since it's been so painful. Wish I knew what contributed, but it's probably a bunch of things. So, I gulped down some chocolate milk and aspirin, and waited for blessed relief. And blessed relief did come. It still feels blissful to have absence of pain down there.

It's my day off today, and I am rejoicing in the new-found use of the work truck. my boss has let me keep it for my weekend. I was afraid to ask - I…I never ask for things,  and it felt like a lot to ask! But dern it all, if I didn't just swallow my fear and ask anyway! Sometimes one must, in order for the door to be opened. I am learning this. It's why I asked for a raise, too. And …he said YES! both times! And if he hadn't, it wouldn't have been a big deal. So, what IS the big deal? ever? Jeez…I don't know!

I made crab cakes last night with habenero mango aioli. It was my first time, and they were delicious. Not hard to make at all! come see me and I'll make you crab cakes.

vengeance

Labee wanted posts, and posts she shall have. Fact is Marilla, now that I've started posting more I seem to have started some momentum. Fact is, I ain't never been to a ball. And this whole idea's got me skeered to death. 'sides, it's Christmas.

I have recently acquired anne of gg - the first one. the sequel is unavailable on the 'net. I hadn't watched it in years, and some parts just REALLY hit my funny bone. Like how inexplicably angry Anne gets when someone mentions the colour of her hair, she way she's like "how dare you….carrots?!?!" as if the person has wronged her beyond any repair. It's delightful. the way the actor says "carrots" at the key moments is priceless. Haven't belly-laughed like that in a loooong time. Also cried and cried. Had a thought that the novels I especially loved when I was younger really had a hand in shaping me…or perhaps I loved them so much because of how I related to the characters in them. Like Anne. She's a kindred spirit. I know L.M. Montgomery made her up, but the way she did so ended up being very important to me. 

Monday night is Shawn's staff party, which I am attending. It's going to be at The Spotted Bear Bistro - a restaurant Shawn and I have never eaten at. Supposed to be amazing. We've just never gone because we hardly ever feel like spending a fortune on one night of eating. But this staff party is going to be all completely payed for, including an open tab on drinks. It's only common sense, when one's meal is being payed for by a wealthy company, to get the most expensive thing on the menu. It's going to be FUN. I already know what I'm going to wear. My red urban outfitters dress, if you must know. I NEVER get to dress up, and I love dressing up. 

It's Christmas!! The town's decked out in lights, and with the icy clear, sunny weather we've been having, it's amazingly picturesque. The sunset I see from Trilogy is amazing. the snowy mountains are so sharply defined, against a pink sky, darkening islands and the cute little float home community of Strawberry Island - the water shimmers in different shades, ranging from silver to ultramarine blue. And I'm seeing it all from the perspective of the Trilogy marina, with the fishing boats and tugs all docked up, some with strings of Christmas lights decorating their masts. Then there's the seagulls perched and huddled on the mossy roof of the Marina West building besides the marina, the occasional eagle soaring by…honestly, I spend so much time looking out that window, no wonder I don't have much else to talk about. 

My next door neighbour has just given me an early Christmas. She is one of those people you never see wearing the same thing twice, and, well, she was emptying her closet. And I just happened to be one of the lucky people she chose to offer clothes to. I could hardly CARRY everything. It's a complete new wardrobe! She had this huge garbage bag full, and she just kept pulling out cute thing after cute thing, and I kind of zombie-like just kept accepting thing after thing. I mean, there were these boots….and it's funny, because I'd just seen a girl wearing boots just like them in town, and mentioned to fubman that I wanted them. And they, they just came to me! Law of attraction in action right thur! I gave her two pieces of salmon from my freezer. It felt like a humble offering in exchange for 100's of dollars worth of clothes…but it's what I had! Hmm…perhaps a package of smoked salmon or two will even it out a bit.

Two people came in ALL day today at work. One right at the start of the day, and one right before I closed. It was miserably cold. I had nothing to do, so bravely I decided to venture up into the attic to get the Christmas decorations my boss had told me were up there. The main reason it took courage to venture up there was the cold. As soon as I removed the cover, I was met with an icy blast. I gingerly climbed up (I hate ladders - the other reason it took courage), mindful of spiders. The Christmas decorations were supposed to be at the far left side. It took some digging, but eventually I spotted two promising-looking boxes wrapped in Christmas paper…on the top shelf…pushed to the back. Naturally, I couldn't reach. This next part of the story displays some shocking behaviour on my part. Perhaps brought on my my desperation to get out of the painful cold, I grabbed a metal object that I did not really look at. I used this metal object in a flailing manner to knock the Christmas boxes closer towards me. Well, I succeeded in moving the boxes closer to me…as well as a few other things that I hadn't been able to see up there, which rained down on my face. Also turned out that the metal object I was using was a long clamp, and I was only holding one of the levers. the other one, as I brought it towards me, swung down (just as everything else was raining down on my face) and thunked me right on my cheekbone below my left eye. For a while I was in a daze of pain. I…I may have swore. And stamped my foot. May as well make a clean slate of it. But when the pain subsided, I determinedly grabbed the boxes, got down the ladder as fast as I could, and replaced the cover on the attic. As soon as I replaced it, I felt warmer. And relieved that I'd accomplished my mission. Jeez, those boxes better have some good decorations, I thought to myself. I did.

I also checked out my eye in the mirror. There is a tiny purple bruise on my cheekbone. It's a shiner. I have a shiner. I insist on it. Do not argue.

Anyway, turns out the decorations were…kind of disappointing. The first one I opened just had…other boxes. I just kept pulling out identical, increasingly smaller boxes. The other one had some red ribbon, fake straw, and old christmas cards. But I put my creativity to work, and in the end was quite pleased with what I'd managed. I made a full-on Christmas display using the boxes, and cut a bunch of cedar fronds and stuff.

Anyway, it's the next morning now, and shawn's just left for work. He has this one 11 hour shift each week where he has to start at 7. It sucks. When he leaves in the morning, it feels like the sun's sucked out of the apartment like a vacuum. It's just usually our main time together, when we're both most alive and awake. Ah well. The purring lump of creamy orange fur that is currently sausaging out on our new couch is a comfort.