clear-cut brilliance

Yesterday I bundled myself up against the icy cold, and went running. It was so bright and vivid, everything was sharp-edged, clear-cut, and vibrant. Clumps of snowdrop and crocus edging the road and gardens were opening their petals wide, embracing the sun. Running along I soon warmed up and was pushing the sleeves of my hoodie up to my elbows. The cold air flowed along my skin like water, unlike the soft brush and kiss of a milder wind. I noticed things as I ran by. The patch of ocean visible as you pass the children's centre is something I never miss. It's just a corner of ocean, but so often when I see it, it's catching the light with such shimmering, glorious heavenliness - and there sits Felice island, and the light and air is of such a quality here that you can see clearly the trees, individually edged in gold light, sculpted trunks leaning towards the water, branches draped in offerings of pale green old man's beard. A haze of gold light. That haze makes this place seem like a fairy tale land at times.
Other things I noted. A slim young alder, nakedly graceful, limbs flung out in such a way as made it clear the tree was dancing. I noted fat red buds everywhere. Daffodils nodding their yellow noses. Despite the wind, I felt the sun kissing the top of my head and gently embracing me. The world was brilliant and I was held in the brilliance. I moved through it with my strong legs, my strong lungs. What beautiful instruments we are, so finely-tuned and specially made to feel and experience joy. The air going in and out of my lungs is the very epitome of love, peace and security. My heart pumps with steady assurance. The cells of my body do not have to be told to do their job perfectly every time. My mind...ah, my mind. So powerful is it, that it often overpowers and overtakes me. I often find myself merely a passenger riding along it's strong current. But when put to conscious use, the power of my mind astounds me. Just it's potential. The second I give it a command, it will already have answered. I can point my senses and attention anywhere using my mind. "Listen" I command through it, and immediately my ears are picking up sounds I'd before been completely unaware of. "compassion", I think, and immediately my body responds. Where can't your mind go? There's nowhere it's can't go. Your mind can go anywhere you ask. If it comes across an unknown, your imagination can easily supply you. Limitless. Your mind is limitless. Thus, so are we. I think unconsciously this scares us, and that's one reason we put up limits and walls within our own minds (which makes sense..with such a powerful tool one must be properly prepared before leaping right in). I know there's a field of fear for me to cross soon. Every time for years when I've thought about stepping out of who I'm acting like to who I am, I sense what seems like bottomless fear, and it's stopped me. Now I understand that it's merely a step. An illusion, that once I face, will lose it's power. Like many things in my life thus far that seemed terrifying until I grew up a little, and all of a sudden with my new perspective I couldn't understand how I'd ever been so fooled by that fear. I'm getting a dawning understanding that all fear is like that. We're always safe, and letting yourself get fooled by fear will in retrospect, with that understanding,  feel like a waste of energy.