erggs!

"So often, as physical beings, you are looking for love from others and when you do not find it you think it is your deficiency. It is not your deficiency, my friends, it is the deficiency of the other, for it is their ability to see what they like which brings forth the feeling of love within them. And if they do not see it in you it is not your flaw, it is not your lack, it is theirs, you see!"
- Abraham-Hicks

Ok, so I found this Abraham-Hicks site, the "keep your bobber up" one, which I read whenever I have the chance...and I was under the impression that Abraham was a man. This is not so. Abraham is a "group of consciousness in the non-physical dimension" (Wikipedia) which Esther Hicks translates, if you will. Well, that makes a lot of sense, thinking back on how all the excerpts are phrased. In any case this site has been such an incredible source of help for me...especially if I happen to be in a negative rut and there's a big part of me that just wants me to give up and stay there. This site always tells me something that brightens me up or gives me fresh hope/enthusiasm/determination. It's a good one. When my new Mac arrives I'll print it out...with my printer that I bought 3 years ago and haven't been able to use yet! I hope it works with the Mac. (nervous giggle)

Yep, I bought one!!! I went all the frick-frack out! (haha, frick frack - I've started to...kind of by accident...invent my own line of swear words. So far they include frick, frack, and erganomics. Don't worry, I know there's a great many of you who will especially take offense to the frick-frack...I agree, it is pretty offensive. I blush when I say it, and yet it still comes blustering out of me. At least I am a very unique and exuberant dork)
Anyways, the Mac!! I went to the library on my day off and ordered it - a 27incher with 8 gig(gities) of memory and I don't know what else. I am excited. I can't really believe it. I've had that much money saved up before...why ever didn't I buy something so awesome with it? I kind of frittered it away uselessly...but that's neither here nor there because this time, I bought myself something awesome that is going to last and I am stolked.

The other day I had a day off by myself and this is what I did:

-I had a 3rd (extra) cup of coffee and did not make myself a breakfast of oatmeal until 11:30. In between that time I played the Sims...I must be honest. The sims always seems to jump out at me when something in my world gets a little more stressful than usual. But a sense of acute urgency never lets me play for long in any comfort.

-unfolded my limbs from the couch (felt the blood rush to my bum), made oatmeal and ate it, sat there meditating and writing in my journal.

-went for a mission walk down the street to the trail that cuts through a patch of forest and leads you to the big gravel lot wherein you can find Beaches...the tiny little grocery store. Where I bought some things for a salad and humous. I also bought two espresso rittersports (my new fave..hello!)

-at some point I went for a most exhilarating run. I ran to North Chestermans, along it and back. Basked in the openness and energy. Afterwards I went for a walk because I just hadn't had enough yet. Walked to Mackenzie Beach, which is just one long straight walk from my house with a little highway crossing in between. Ahhhhh. Drank in the energy there and walked back home high on beauty and completely soul-refreshed. I reminded myself of Anne when she gets married and moves to the little cottage by the sea and always takes excursions to the beach alone. It reminds me of my life now. Which...is awesome!! I just need the cottage by the sea.

-At home I did the dishes, and riding the satisfaction gained from that, kept doing one little tidying task after the other...each one encouraging me to do just one more. Before I knew it I had transformed the entire living-kitchen area. Sat down at the clean, un-cluttered kitchen table with a sigh of satisfaction and pleasure. That is just about the time when Shawn came home from work!

- A few friends came over and we played rummy and watched surf dvds. It was fun! I don't mind being the sole female energy in a group. Depending, actually on the type of male energy...

-I passed the frick out around midnight and slept soundly allllllll night.

Hi. I'm a robin. It's my birthday soon.