Dock Festival

I am undeniably fish-smelling right now. Today instead of working the store, I got to help out at Dock Fest down on the 4th street dock. Which meant I got to stand at a booth, handing out candied salmon nuggets and selling packages of smoked salmon. I was at a booth with this First Nations Fisheries which I cannot spell - Twaa-qi-aht or someut. Everytime someone got some salmon I'd give them the speal of how the First nations catch the fish and we smoke it. It was crazy - people were eating the nuggets faster than I could put them out. Right beside me there was a booth for The Spotted Bear restaurant and they were handing out samples of grilled octopus. DELICIOUS. About half-way through I was allowed to go out and try the samples and see what was going on. It was muggy and warm, with the sun playing hide and seek with the clouds all afternoon. It was fun. Only I couldn't find the booth with the shellfish soup that smelt so delicious that I saw everyone walking around with. But then, at the very end, a random boy with a chef's uniform on came up and gave me one of my very own! It had a stick of fresh bread sticking out of it. Clams. There was cilantro in the broth. soooo good. I ate it as I walked down the street to Method Marine where Shawn was working (he had the apartment keys. A dog literally ate his keys). Altogether, a 3 hour shift. Now I'm home and I don't work again until Friday.

To be confident one must give oneself confidence. As I've been realizing this more and more, it's become quite a comfort. After all, it's so true. No one else can validate you - not truly. you must validate yourself. But that's all you need to do to feel good. And you don't need anyone else to do it before you do. All you need is you! That's the comforting part. The reassuring part. I've been giving myself much more validation, but it's a work in progress. Life is more fun that way because you can be any way you want - and as long as you are comfortable with you, people will tend to relax around you also. I think I've got a lot of potential to put people at ease, but first I must work out this knot that's developed in my midsection. It's all wound up tight from worrying what other people think. I've been discarding it more and more lately. It feels a tiny bit reckless, like I'm letting go of a foothold.

I'll leave this post with my new mantra. I love repeating it to myself whenever I think of it. It's a thought of Rumi's.

"Make me sweet again. fragrant and fresh and wild. and thankful for any small event."